Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh the Drama...

I am frustrated. The frustration file in my filing cabinet has exploded. I have been divorced from the father of my children, my first husband, for over 10 years. I have nothing bad to say about him. He is a very difficult person, but we all have our downfalls. Honestly, I have no feelings toward him whatsoever. He is the one who left me but ultimately, it was definitely for the best. I want nothing more than to have my children have a good relationship with him and spend time with him. There is nothing I do to hinder their relationship. Schedules are provided, I try to encourage the kids to see him even when they are begging to stay home, when the kids complain about him and how he does things I remind them that everyone is different and I know it's hard to go back and forth between homes with different parenting styles. Plus, they are 12 and 13... a difficult age for kids anyway. My oldest child is nearly 20 and I have no control over any relationship he chooses to have with his father.

My frustration is this: I feel that I do everything I can to be a good mother, a good co-parent. Yes, I admit that I do sometimes forget things. I am human, I fail sometimes. I don't always inform their father of every haircut, dentist appointment and class they take. On the other hand, I believe it to be the responsibility of the other parent to communicate with the children and not just rely on the co-parent for all communication. However, it seems that the 'father' feels and lets it be known that I do everything I can to hinder his relationships with his children. Nothing is further from the truth ! And at this point in my life, I have grown a set of balls. I will no longer be a door mat. I will no longer be yelled at and belittled, let alone by someone who I am no longer married to. Tell me, am I wrong ? Should I put up with being put down, belittled, critiqued, yelled at and told how I do everything wrong- for the sake of my children ? I think not. No good can come when children see their mother yelled at and put down by their father, let alone the tension and stress it causes. I think it would do well for all adults involved in situations like this to grow up.

And that, is my .2 cents for the day.

Love to everyone !!! xoxoxoxoxox

~Wendy

2 comments:



Ellen said...

Wendy, you are 100% right!



Alecia said...

Oh girl... I feel ya and you are so right!!! I'm in somewhat the same boat in dealing with my step children's mother. They live with us, so what we deal with from her is a lot like what you deal with from your ex. Way to go on growing some balls girl, I'm rootin' for ya!! {{{HUGS}}}