Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh the Drama...

I am frustrated. The frustration file in my filing cabinet has exploded. I have been divorced from the father of my children, my first husband, for over 10 years. I have nothing bad to say about him. He is a very difficult person, but we all have our downfalls. Honestly, I have no feelings toward him whatsoever. He is the one who left me but ultimately, it was definitely for the best. I want nothing more than to have my children have a good relationship with him and spend time with him. There is nothing I do to hinder their relationship. Schedules are provided, I try to encourage the kids to see him even when they are begging to stay home, when the kids complain about him and how he does things I remind them that everyone is different and I know it's hard to go back and forth between homes with different parenting styles. Plus, they are 12 and 13... a difficult age for kids anyway. My oldest child is nearly 20 and I have no control over any relationship he chooses to have with his father.

My frustration is this: I feel that I do everything I can to be a good mother, a good co-parent. Yes, I admit that I do sometimes forget things. I am human, I fail sometimes. I don't always inform their father of every haircut, dentist appointment and class they take. On the other hand, I believe it to be the responsibility of the other parent to communicate with the children and not just rely on the co-parent for all communication. However, it seems that the 'father' feels and lets it be known that I do everything I can to hinder his relationships with his children. Nothing is further from the truth ! And at this point in my life, I have grown a set of balls. I will no longer be a door mat. I will no longer be yelled at and belittled, let alone by someone who I am no longer married to. Tell me, am I wrong ? Should I put up with being put down, belittled, critiqued, yelled at and told how I do everything wrong- for the sake of my children ? I think not. No good can come when children see their mother yelled at and put down by their father, let alone the tension and stress it causes. I think it would do well for all adults involved in situations like this to grow up.

And that, is my .2 cents for the day.

Love to everyone !!! xoxoxoxoxox

~Wendy